A Viney Make-Over and How To Post A Comment

I am so ridiculously tired today. Seriously, I could fall asleep on my keyboard right now. But you don’t care about that, do you? “So what?!” you say. “Everyone is tired! It’s Friday! We’re ready for the weekEND!” And, I hear ya. I’m ready for the weekend, too. But I feel it’s worth noting that I am so tired that even my heartbeat is sluggish. So tired that I wasn’t fully awake until approximately…three minutes ago. So tired that I almost threw my empty coffee mug at some guy from the office because he was taking so damn long to fix up his own cuppa. So tired that I’ve apparently lapsed into a British accent, dahlings. So tired that…

Okay. I’m assuming you get the picture. And, speaking of pictures, guess what I have for you? That’s right, actual pictures of Stuff I Did Around The House. I know. It’s a momentous occasion (I think being tired makes me sarcastic, what do you think?). But before you get all excited, let me just say: it’s not pictures of what you think it is. Yes, the cabinets are still not fully done. I am still slapping paint on those…well, since I’ve decided to make this blog a relatively curse-free zone, I won’t finish that sentence.

What I DID do, was make-over these little buggers:

These are some metal scrolls that I got from Ross last weekend. They’re about 3 feet long and they each cost around $10. Now, they may not be much to look at in their current antique-white state and you’re probably wondering what the heck I need something like them for, but I should just say right off the bat that A) I never intended for them to stay this color, and B) ever since we moved into our house, I’ve been wondering what on earth to do with this space:

That great expanse of wall extends from eye level (in the dining room) all the way to the top of the vaulted ceilings and is currently the world’s largest blank canvas (there may be a slight exaggeration there). Every person who’s walked in our door has asked what we plan on doing with it, so I knew I needed to find a solution and I needed to find it pretty soon. What I really would love to do is put some massive artwork up, maybe a three panel original from someone wonderful, but until I get around to winning the lotto, something else needed to act as a stand-in. Well, what about a large metal sculpture? I thought. And, with that, the hunt began.

Luckily it only took me a couple of months but once I found these was I was sure they’d be a good interim choice. However: totally the wrong color. So I bought some supplies and started my first ever spray paint project. Thank goodness it took me way less time than my other painting project!

For this project I used Rust-oleum brand primer and paint (in white and oil-rubbed bronze, respectively), a cheap drop cloth, and  some long black socks (which I commandeered from Denny).

First I donned my paintin’ socks, then I took my stuff out to the back patio. I laid out my drop cloth and secured it on all sides with whatever was on hand (ie: an old sprinkler we found in the pet cemetery, a set of pink dumbbells, whichever spray can I didn’t currently have in my hand, and two dead plants—not the ones I just introduced you to, btw). Then, I laid out my vines, like so…

…and began to prime (like how I included by black-socked feet?). I followed the directions and primed one side and then the other (waiting twenty minutes in between to let them dry). Since it was over 80 degrees out that day, I probably could have gotten away with a shorter time frame, but I didn’t want to push my luck, being a newbie and all.

After priming the back, I decided to test out my oil-rubbed bronze paint on that side first, just to see how it went. Uh. It did not go good.

See that? It seemed like no matter how much I shook that stinking can, no matter how careful I was, no matter how much I cleaned the tip, it still looked like spattered bird poo. I reread the directions and, sure enough, I was doin’ it right. Holding my can upright at a distance of 8-10” and making overlapping passes back and forth over the object. Just like the directions said. To a T.

Alright, well, since it was close to rush hour and I had no desire to get in my car and wade through it just to go to Lowe’s and get a new can, I decided to try it My Way. Meaning, I crouched down until I was three meager inches from the vines, shook the crap out of that can, and blasted away. The coverage got substantially better, so I gave it a minute to dry, then flipped it over and started the same approach on the front side (just call me Miss Impatient). To my somewhat-great surprise, it ended up looking like this:

Yep. Apparently it just needed to be told who’s boss. Isn’t it pretty? It did end up taking quite a while, since I had to spray it from every angle imaginable, but in the end it was totally worth it. They look so pretty in person, with the dark sheen and the little flecks of gold catching the light (unfortunately for you, though, they look black in this picture).

This is how I had thought at first to arrange them, meaning they would end up looking (slightly) like this when I hung them up:

But after thinking it over, I wondered if I couldn’t get even more coverage out of them. I’m not a terrible painter, so if I make a set of four abstract canvases (like this one from Elizabeth Leakway) maybe I could hang them in a group with the vines as brackets. Kind of like this:

I don’t know. Maybe that’s too much going on. I’d be grateful for any advice on the matter, though. Oh, and in case you’re wondering if you have to have a Blogger account to leave a comment, the answer is: False.

Anyone can leave a comment simply by following these easy steps. So if you’re reading this (or anything) and you want to tell me something or argue with me or comment on the state of my manicure, please leave me a comment and I will try to respond to you in a timely manner! Thanks!

STEPS TO LEAVE A COMMENT:

First, scroll down to the comment area of the post you want to comment on.  Type up your comment, then click on the “Comment as” option, which will then give you a list of options. Feel free to use any of them you may have (for example, if you have a Google account) or you can leave a comment without logging into anything (this is the easiest way, in case you were wondering). Just select “Name/URL.”

Type in your name and whatever website you’re associated with (like a Facebook page). Click continue.

Your name and website will then appear and you’ll be able to post using that identifying information. Just click “Post Comment” when you’re done. It’s super simple!